you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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