Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize