he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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