Midget sex pt 2 tonight
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
