So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
