idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize