tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
