come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
