Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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