Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
why do cheetos always look like penises
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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