As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
