its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
