I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
