That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
