I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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