Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
