Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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