put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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