I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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