Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
