watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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