What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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