Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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