**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize