U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
