The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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