whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
