Your face is a jimmy john
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
