I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize