The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
