I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
