i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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