hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
