I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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