ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize