Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
