dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
