Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
