Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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