Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
