Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
