How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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