I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
