It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
