i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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