ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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