I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
