nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
