I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
