the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Randomize
