Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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