I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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