How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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