People with herpes should wear stickers.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
