Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
