What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
