You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
