If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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