Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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