Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
