I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
