Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize