i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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