I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
